I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
