I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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