Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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