he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
we're so committed to being not committed
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize