Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
