Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
