Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
