you guys were way drunker than both of me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
