dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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