I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
