My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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