So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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