alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize