i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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