hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
