remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
