Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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