some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
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