She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
drinking out of a sandbucket again
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
