i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
