is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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