3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize