and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
