I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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