So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
