if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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