Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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