My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
