Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
