new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
