So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
