I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize