i just wanna soil my oats bro
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
