The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
