I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
