Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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