Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
