did you get engaged???
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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