I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
