Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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