This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
