She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
