easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
