We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
