my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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