Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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