we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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