I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize