I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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