why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
