Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
