This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
