Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
