I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
