I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
