a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize