woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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