Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
