I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
sarcasm needs its own font
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
