I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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