Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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