PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
