Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
