do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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