I want to walk on stilts...naked
i think i have two assholes
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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