Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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