I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
